Hi,

With this new post, wish you a new beginning by letting go of all the sand you’re holding on to ever since. May you find the longing and a reason to wake up every morning with a smile, with something to look up to for the day, every day! Happy New Year!

This is the time to make resolutions, and the very first thing that bothers us is the failure to meet last year’s resolutions, the guilt of not maintaining a diet, of not keeping our body active, and especially for not living for ourselves a little more. And that follows the question, Should we make resolutions at all?

But do we feel guilty with just New Year’s resolutions? If we avoid resolutions, can someone assure us of a guilt-free year?

Guilt, something we all have experienced from time to time, arises from our own actions. But what is the cause of these actions? We feel guilty when we hurt ourselves or others, physically, emotionally, socially, financially, or in any way. But why do we hurt anyone? Knowingly or unknowingly?

Why does the feeling of hurt scream so loud, yet no one can listen? And probably, ending up with more guilt?

What happens when we get hurt?

• When we are hurt, our spirit sinks, and all we want is solitude – a quiet place where the ache can rest unseen.
• Somehow, the mind senses the pain carried by the heart and steps in to protect it. It builds an invisible shelter around our heart, a wall that doesn’t exist in the physical world but feels very real. From behind it, the mind decides what is allowed to pass through and what must be kept out.
• While we sit within that wall, wounded and withdrawn, we lose sight of the world outside. The mind stands guard, replaying every moment that caused the pain – every careless remark, every instance of being ignored, every effort that went unnoticed. One thought follows another, endlessly circling. And we know where these thoughts live – within the mind.
• Yet life beyond that wall does not pause. The world keeps moving, and our absence – our emotional unavailability – ripples outward, touching others. Imagine coming home burdened by a hurt carried from outside, craving silence, while your mother gently asks how your day was, or what you’d like for dinner. How often does the wounded heart answer with silence, with indifference, with a tired “anything,” or even with sharp words spoken in irritation? And in those moments—who ends up hurting?
• There comes a quiet realization, often later, that our response wounded someone else – someone who had no part in our pain. An innocent soul, caught in the overflow of our hurt. That awareness begins to soften the wall the mind had built. The mind hesitates, torn between holding onto the pain it was guarding and confronting the harm caused to another.
• And then the heart understands. It sees that it has caused pain – perhaps to someone close, someone who only offered care. In that moment, the wall crumbles, and guilt gently takes its place, reminding us that even in our pain, our love still reaches outward.

This is what happens when we get hurt: there are always chances that we might feel guilty later as well, since a hurt person has probably the least energy or spark to light a lamp that offers empathy and love to others.

As we talked about resolutions, here is a challenge I took: to give you a question, to journal upon, until we meet the next time. The question or point for journaling here is:

Recall a time when your heart was hurting and you chose silence or distance. Who was affected by that choice, and how did realizing their pain change the way you saw your own?

We talked about hurt and the guilt, yet why do we even get hurt at very first place? Maybe something you think about, meanwhile, I return with my next blog in this series of Reflections!

Happy New Year, once again. Take Care!
– Navneet