Hi reader,

What happens when you try your best to achieve something and don’t succeed? When you give your best effort in academics but still don’t score well in exams, put all your mind and efforts into your work, and still do not get the ideal appraisal, or put all your heart into creating a surprise for a loved one, and they didn’t like it?

Today, let’s live through a story!

There was a lively boy, around 7-8 years old, full of energy and the love for speed. He enjoyed the rush of wind on his face, the sweat on his brow, and the fresh air filling his lungs. He admired the older boys racing by on their bicycles and dreamed of having one to compete with them. Growing up in a middle-class family, he knew he had to work hard to achieve this dream. As an average student with messy handwriting, he put all his effort into his studies, driven by a strong desire to succeed. Although he didn’t get top grades right away, his passion helped him improve, and he never gave up. After many attempts and setbacks, he finally earned the highest grade. However, when he approached his parents to ask for a bicycle, he overheard them discussing their financial struggles, which devastated him. In that moment, he felt the reality of his situation; despite his hard work, he couldn’t express his dreams. It was a touching realization of the responsibilities of growing up in a middle-class family, and he understood that true maturity often means sacrificing dreams for the sake of loved ones.

The story sounds similar, right? We all have been through it or going through similar circles even now, regardless you are a kid, an adult, a parent, or a grandparent. We are working, achieving, chasing our dreams, and yet missing out on a lot. Though what each one of us is achieving or missing out on could vary, one thing that we all have in common is this emotion, the emotion where we feel unsure of whether to be happy with what we achieved or be sad or disappointed with what we couldn’t. 

Currently here in India, the popular British music band, Coldplay is touring, and the moment the tour was announced, all the fans got excited, to book the tickets. But, as soon as the booking window opened, the tickets got sold out, leaving the fans disappointed. Here also, the fans had done everything they could have worked hard for, like the resources (money) required to watch their favorite artist live, ready to go to a different city just to watch them, and yet missed out on it. Imagine how high their hearts must be pumping on the tour announcement, and how low they felt when they missed out on tickets waiting in the queue. Yes, we all are like that kid, who missed out on the bicycle. And, what we all have in common, is emotion!

That disappointing and anguish emotion, that fire in the chest, and trying our best to keep our mouth shut, because we know, once we open our mouth, someone will get the rage we storing inside. We all have it and have experienced it in life. And sometimes, holding your mouth shut becomes difficult, especially when there’s social media to express. The posts about the audience being a dead audience at Coldplay concert, expressing disappointment for not getting the tickets, or calling out the audience as not the true fans, are nothing but emotions, and it is fine to let them out, as it’s not hurting anyone, right?

A concert or bicycle are still one-time scenarios, that can be fulfilled someday, but what about the consistent disappointments in life? The mounting pressure blocks on the emotional health system? Will the system sustain, or fall like a pyramid of cards? 

Just like the kid who let go of his desire to get the bicycle and suppressed his emotions while putting his efforts into supporting the family, we also sometimes feel the outraging emotions within ourselves that we do not share with anyone, suppress them and just try to distract ourselves towards something else (mostly indulging in the office work), these emotions don’t get disappeared, but just keep mounting on one-another. The pile of disappointments just keeps growing, but for how long?

To keep ourselves healthy, we are told to adopt a healthy lifestyle. From including daily exercises or yoga, to eating a healthy diet full of nutrients, proteins, and limited carbs, we all hear about it, and everyone should follow it as well. All of this helps us to stay physically fit, and healthy and also improves our immunity, the physical health immunity, so just in case someday, especially when the weather is changing, and we forget to wear an extra layer, the immune system will safeguard us from any changing environment or simply from any infection. This immune system, will not let us fall sick, and even if we do, it will help us to self-heal quickly without any need for medicines, at least against viral infections. That’s a great support system to have, isn’t it? We just need to take a little care of it every day, and it heals us the day when we need it. Great, but what about the emotional health? Do we have any emotional immune system as well? Any system that can self-heal our emotions, instead of letting them pile into a hill of disappointments?

Before addressing the main issue, it’s important to consider the negative impact of emotions on physical health and the immune system. Many adapt unhealthy routines, like binge eating spicy food or ice cream, or being inactive, which harms both emotional and physical well-being. This can lead to health problems, such as hypertension, diabetes, and sudden weight changes, as we often allow our emotions to dictate our lifestyle choices.

The question is, what should we do? How can we prevent emotions from controlling our lives? We can’t avoid feelings; they are part of being human. While we might tell ourselves to stop being emotional, emotions are normal. Trying to control them often leads to suppression, so what is the right approach?

There’s one book called, Devi and the Battle of Meghdhanush by Gayatri, which happens to be around the concept of Navras, the nine emotions that we feel. It’s a beautifully written story of a girl Devi, who battles with her inner world of emotions/ras. These 9 emotions are:

1. Hasya (Mirth)
2. Shanta (Tranquility)
3. Adbhuta (Wonder)
4. Sringara (Love)
5. Vira (Courage)
6. Vibhatsa (Aversion)
7. Karunya (Compassion)
8. Raudra (Fury)
9. Bhayanaka (Terror)

If we look at our life, we are mostly feeling a mixture of these emotions. In arts, like theatre, poetry, dance, and music, the artists try to express these emotions through their art forms. Why? Because these emotions are common with each of us, and we all can relate. Even the story we went through earlier as a kid, had these emotions. We can understand and mainly support each other only when we can understand each other’s emotions. 

Sometimes, when we are uncertain about our feelings, we experience a mix of 9 emotions. It can be challenging to discern if we are happy or sad, surprised or exhausted. Instead of listening to these emotions, we often distract ourselves. What if we took a moment to sit quietly, drink some water, and close our eyes? By focusing on our breath and relaxing, we can better understand our emotions. Picture them as 9 humans sitting with you. Instead of avoiding them, why not sit down and engage in a conversation with each emotion? Yes, it seems unconventional, but when overwhelmed, this is what we truly need.

We need courage! There are times we must summon the bravery within us to confront our inner demons and raw emotions. It’s essential to embrace our feelings just as they come, without judgment. Yes, it stings to have missed out on those Coldplay tickets, and watching others revel in the experience can ignite waves of frustration. But how do we accept this reality? Ask yourself: do you have passions that ignite your spirit? Whether it’s reading, writing, dancing, singing, playing instruments, or even running, there’s a way to channel that energy. Grab a sheet of paper and a pen, and pour your heart out in a letter to your emotions—acknowledge that it’s tough, that feeling of missing out. But remember, this doesn’t change the situation, nor does it erase the pang of disappointment!

As long as we’re alive, there will always be something we like that we miss out on. Someone may have Coldplay tickets but no partner to enjoy it with, while a couple might miss something else. That’s the nature of the materialistic world. There will always be something lacking, but how we feel about it is up to us. To address our emotions, consider going on a coffee or tea date with yourself and writing a letter about your feelings. This is just one simple way to cope if you’re unsure of what else to do.

Once we take the courageous step to acknowledge our emotions and embrace them with compassion, our emotional immunity can begin to heal. This journey involves recognizing our feelings and understanding how they influence our lives. This journey of self-acceptance deepens our connection with ourselves and enhances our ability to navigate life’s challenges, and also to develop a Self Healing Emotional Immune System.

And for this journey, may we all support and empathize with each other.
– Navneet