Hi reader,

This is probably the last blog of 2024, and before it goes off, I express my heartfelt gratitude to my readers. Everyone who has ever read my blog has motivated me to keep writing, and everyone who has responded to me offline or online has always kept the writer in me inspired and alive. On that note, I thank all of you who have read my past ones or are reading for the first time. Thank you!

It’s that time of year when most of the world spends time with family, friends, and loved ones, experiencing the love, and warmth of the people around them, playing games, and celebrating life. I hope, 2024 was kind to you all, and I pray that 2025 brings a lot of blessings to all of us and the world collectively, with no innocent life being taken by the wars.

Since, it is also the time when many of us, make resolutions, the New Year Resolutions for 2025 (that we hardly keep up), I felt to write the last blog of the year. We always talk about resolutions in the sense, of what will be beneficial and productive for us, or what could bring a positive change in us, like hitting the gym, running the marathon, attending social events, going on a solo trip, and so on.. While making the resolutions, do we also ask ourselves, the straightforward yet intriguing question, What do I want?

A few weeks back, I was at a family gathering, where I met one of my life mentors, who has guided me all through my school and college years, and unknowingly gave me a start to my musical journey as well, by lending me his Yamaha Keyboard, with which I debuted as a keyboardist with my college band, and almost 12 years later, I am still keeping up with my keyboardist journey.

While discussing a personal milestone, he asked me this question, which looked simple, but made me fall into a retrospective mine. The question was the same, What do I want? If it were childhood, I would have easily answered (A burger with Coke and fries). However, maturity sometimes complicates the basic things.

What does the question mean, what do I want? want, or need, or require, or dream, what is it? I tried to sleep over the question, for many nights, and only got one word as the answer, “Happiness”. You might not believe but this is what I answered to the question, at that moment to my mentor as well, but it was more of “That makes everyone happy”. Now, one question leads to another, the happiness of whom? You may think it’s an easy answer, the happiness of people around, basically life partner, kids, family, friends, and all, is it? Is it even possible, to keep everyone happy?

I tried, and have failed miserably, with sometimes blame like being the cause of unhappiness (unbelievable!). However, I have always and will always wish the best for everyone. Yet, in my 30 years of journey, the answer is, that you can never keep everyone happy, I wish I could tell this to my younger self, but here is a note to future generations, you can never do it (Harsh, but truth). 

So, what do we do now? What do I want? Happiness, okay but what kind of happiness, and happiness of whom? So let’s have another question, who came to this journey (the life) with you? Guesses? YOU! It’s you who are in this journey, and it’s only you who understand yourself, through all the thick and thins, and it’s you who you can count upon, so who matters to you the most? YOU! No, it is not a selfish act, and people will often misjudge self-care and self-happiness as selfish, but again who matters? You! 

What makes you happy? Sometimes, destiny itself puts you in the right spot where the answer finds you before you find it, only if the question is resonating so loud within you, that you can’t think of anything else. That’s how December turned out, revealing what made me happy. Though, I am not going to talk much about what made me happy, but more about what additionally mattered, for me to be able to embrace and enjoy it. These are something, that we might not consider too much, though being actively talked about a lot. These are not just the supporting pillars for us to enjoy and live the happiness, but in a way, fortune for us, that can make us happy anytime.

To start with, being physically fit! No, it doesn’t mean the abs count the step count, or how much time you spent running. But, fit enough that you don’t have to think about fitness itself. Adapting to a lifestyle, that allows you to get maximum output, without so much talk. For me, fitness has always been an ability to balance the focus between body, mind, and moment. I should be aware of what I am consuming, how much sleep I am getting, how much I am moving/working out, as well as what the actual event/situation requires, and it allows me to enjoy the happy moments. For instance, if someone feels happy to complete a marathon, but they need endurance, a good diet, and a balanced focus between mind and body. Imagine if the same person is unfit with a portion of street food, he was unable to resist a day before? Will he be able to run the marathon? So, adapt to a lifestyle that supports you to be fit for the expected and unexpected moments in life. Maybe, strong enough knees always, to bend and sit while proposing, who knows when the situation demands? 😉

Now, coming to the next one, it’s a healthy pocket. I understand, that not everyone likes the luxury or fantasizes about it, but no one hates it. One of the reasons being, everyone likes to have a space around, a personal space, not too big, yet enough that no one is within that range in public, and one can feel secure. Imagine holding a baby in your hands, and you see a crowded street, the first thing you want to make sure is the baby remains safe, and how? You take them into your arms, and keep your fellow people, like family members around, so the baby stays as well as feels secure. The baby has learned it in childhood, and it remains the same even when it turns 30. However, it will be too tough to hold a 30-year-old in arms, right? At least, for me! So we look for space, a secure space. And this space comes at a cost. Compare any street food shop or a low-scale food outlet with a medium cafe, and then to a 5-star restaurant. The one thing that increases along with food price is the space between the two tables. That space costs, and for that cost, you need a healthy pocket. Now space is one reason, and maybe some moments of happiness might not require space and hence not too healthy a pocket, but we all have wishes or dreams, and we all need resources to support them, what’s a better resource than a healthy pocket? I have attended parties and concerts with public transport, as well as my vehicle, and going with my vehicle has always been way more comfortable and secure.

You have a fit enough physique and a healthy pocket, so are you ready to be happy, or are you happy or able to enjoy the happy moments? There’s a TV jingle “Tyoharon (Khushiyon) ka asli maza to apno ke sath aata hai!“, which translates to, “The real joy (happiness) of festivals comes with loved ones!” Don’t misunderstand that when I talked about the space, it was for the public, not the loved ones. When we are with people who we know, care for, love, and support, even the most awful day becomes a better one. Then imagine, how the happiest moment will become! Thanks to 2024, I have been able to understand my social circle, and sometimes no matter what the fairy tale world looks like, when reality hits, it hits hard. When we meet people, and feel a connection, it feels great. But when the same connection breaks, it hurts equally. And we people, are never too prepared for it. We are never ready to let someone come or go, as life progresses. However, what I learned, sometimes it is better to know when to exit or allow the exit, be it a situation or a relationship. We might think of how much time we have had spent, and what we experienced together, but always remember, no matter how beautiful the past was, it can not change the present. It is now, that is happening and demands your attention. You are on a journey, so don’t think about who has left to take a different road for their journey. Focus on your journey, and who is still around, regardless of how long they have been with you, but who is actually around you at the moment. 

The other day, I had this thought, when people didn’t have technology, their friendships and relations had warmth. They wait for replies, letters, or even a call at a neighbor’s house. Imagine it in a modern world, how excited you feel if a neighbor received a call from one of your loved ones after months? The emotions had depth, and this leads to another important aspect of happiness, emotions! This year, I witnessed people crying at live concerts, kissing their loved ones when Ed Sheeran sings Perfect, and also saw people dancing to the rhythms of rock with Bryan Adams as well as at Kirtan with Radhika Das. All those moments, I wished to capture all and make a collage for this blog site, of what being in Vartamanah looks like, but the moments themselves were so beautiful, that I preferred to enjoy them instead of recording them. A moment can be happy only, if we can feel it inside. The fit body can make you ready to live the moment, the healthy pocket can help you to afford it, the social circle can cheer for you, but it’s always the emotion, that makes it a special moment than the others. Think about it, when did you feel like it last, that you are wearing a smile, without knowing of it, you are dancing no matter whether your body is moving or not, your heart is pumping high and you feel so energetic and excited that you can summit a mountain. Isn’t it how feeling happy makes it way more special than being happy?

I understand these moments are special, only because they happen sometimes, and if life becomes like it, it might become a bit mundane. That’s what brings me to the final aspect, the mental balance. In my belief, everything in the universe is created by one, but to keep this materialistic world in balance, there is always a polarity of everything, even happiness. If life has positivity, there will be negative moments as well. To, be happy, as well as, feel happy, we have to work on so many aspects, and even that has a polarity. Sometimes, when we are experiencing such happy moments, we feel insecure that they might last for some time, and then back to the same daily grind. Why can’t they last forever, and we never feel mundane about it? That’s always a question, which can have multiple answers varying among people’s choices, but to feel like it, it’s a normal thing. However, if we feel insecure about the future while the present moment is still happening, we might be losing to feeling something incredible and beautiful. There is a saying, that we should never let ourselves get attached to something, now be it a happy moment or the other one. How? That’s what the mental balance is all about. Other than the fear of the moment going to last soon, there is something else too that disturbs the balance, and these are distractions. Imagine, you worked so well on yourself to stay fit, worked hard to be able to afford, and ready to experience a moment for a lifetime, since I can only give an example of a concert, imagine your favorite artist is performing live, and still you don’t feel the happiness you expected. Only because, you expected to watch it with a friend, or you got your heart broken a week ago, or someone is not well from your loved ones and here you are looking for your happy moment. Sometimes, the choices are tough in life but have to be made. But, that’s not where the problem ends, the real one starts later where either there is a fear of missing out or the guilt. How can someone enjoy a happy moment in such a situation, right? That’s where mental strength helps, to focus and balance life to simply the moment happening right now. You can’t keep everyone happy, but should never allow yourself to keep yourself unhappy, let the world say what it wants, and you don’t need to justify everyone as well. Learn to get your priorities set right, believe in them strongly, and follow them from your heart. It’s only one life, we all have got, so why lose the present, for the distractions? Live the present for all the efforts you made in different aspects, right?  

Returning to the question, What do I want? It might vary for each of us, but it’s good to have a list, no? So take a pen and paper (no not the mobile notes, but the pen and paper, because that’s where the dreams start coming true). Write down all your wishes, and dreams, that you want to achieve, think of it like you have a Santa standing in front of you, to give him the list, and you will get everything. Yes, that’s crazy, and just write it down.

I read in a book, Off the Clock by Laura Vanderkam, that if we start writing all of our wishes, we might not even reach the count of 100. I tried and reached only till the 60s. So maybe, see if you can reach 100, let me know. And honestly, it’s fine if while achieving those 60 wishes, I miss 20 odd ones, as I still achieved around 40, right?

Take your time, but do it, and then ask yourself what will you need to achieve it, physically, financially, socially, emotionally, and mentally. Make a note of them, and think about them. Shouldn’t these be something that should matter to you the most, and probably be in your New Year Resolutions, than the random resolutions we set observing others’ lives over the internet? Shouldn’t we matter to ourselves the most than the rest?

On that note, I leave you for the rest of the holidays we have left with, and I wish my best with this Irish quote:

“May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May god hold you in the hollow of His hand.”

With all my best wishes and love, Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and a very Happy New Year 2025. See you soon!
– Navneet