Hello reader,
Recently, I was sitting with a bunch of amazing people for a Chai, and were talking about various aspects of life. Today, I will be talking about one of those topics, which I drafted months ago, but never posted.
Welcome to the world of Vartamanah, the place where we be in the now, indulge ourselves in it and embrace our gift.
In modern times, the overall work pressure has increased manifold, and when someone is working in a developing economy, the competition is everywhere, from the country-level Geo-economics to the work associates working in the same team, from the sports athletes to the fans booking concert tickets, the pressure can be felt, the stress is easily visible on the face of a common man, and here I am not even touching the basics like food, clothes, and shelter.
Now, the stress is something that we all have in common. There’s hardly someone who can say that he is not at all stressed about anything in life. The amount and the handling capacity can vary but the stress itself is omnipresent. Now, since it is well-known part of life, what varies is the source.
Some people, at times, are going through the disastrous part of life, while most of us, if not in the disastrous phases, have our struggles. Someone is unable to buy the long-awaited watch, or the other is not able to go on a vacation. Some are struggling to get a better income, and some are scared of the market loss. Each of us has a different source, and it’s a well-known source.
However, being a part of the Universe, we are bound to follow the cosmic laws of cause and effect. In our current discussion, stress is the cause, and our emotions become the effect. The way we handle our stress defines our emotions. If we can control it, our emotions will be more towards positive emotions like joy, gratitude, love, hope, serene, and amusement. In another case, when the stress is unbearable, and we can’t control it anymore, the negative emotions autonomously take over the control and we feel anger, contempt, disgust, fear, guilt, helplessness, loneliness, and sadness.
Just like the other living species, humans, are transceivers. We transmit our emotions to others around us or in touch (locally or remotely) and receive emotions as responses from others. It’s like we all carry a ball, manufactured by our emotions, that we carry forward and share with the people around us. And in response as a barter, receive a ball as well. These balls are our emotions, but they are manufactured by our stress-handling capabilities. The better we handle, the better the ball is, and vice versa. The stress becomes the factory, where these balls are manufactured, and the ability to handle the stress (aka emotions) defines the quality of the ball. So which ball are you carrying?
Now, let’s see a person, who doesn’t have much control over their stress level. If this person is having a time wherein the stress level is low, this person will be happy. He will be carrying a positive infectious energy ball, and he will keep sharing the love, laughter, and affection and will keep radiating the smiles around. He will be creating a very comfortable atmosphere around them, and people would like to talk to them or reach out to them. But, let’s say the tables have turned, and the world turns upside down for the same person, who isn’t good at handling stress. Which ball will he be carrying now? What energy will they be radiating? Will the people be comfortable with him?
The same person will transform into a sad, hopeless, always in doubt, and fearful person. And all this uncertainty will just attract more anger towards him. Somehow, the negatives always multiply faster than the positives. The people around, regardless of how is their stress level and which ball they are carrying, will get the impact of the negativity.
Let me introduce a little Math here, suppose the emotion balls are nothing but an integer, which can be both positive and negative. A positive integer means a positive emotion and a negative integer is a negative emotion. If someone is carrying a -100, and you are carrying a +20 (that too after a very long-struggling period), what will your combined score end up with? -100+20=-80, and taking the average of two people, you become -40! Okay, this example or reference sounds idiotic, but you got the crux, I believe!
Another example, let’s say you are on the road, driving with a happy emotion, and a stressed, angry and egoistic driver, running late, takes a dangerous turn making you apply the full brakes, which further causes a biker from the back colliding with your car on a busy day. Will that egoistic driver stay to say sorry? How have your emotions changed?
These people are all around us, however, when someone is exposed to negative emotions for a prolonged time, several other things start to affect, knowingly or unknowingly. A person might lose interest in their own life. All the success, joy, celebrations, or achievements become of no value, as their negativity ball has become so big, that no positivity around can nullify it. This negativity becomes so heavy on the person, that he gets burdened up and feels the constant heavy weight on their shoulders, which in turn starts to affect the person’s health causing issues like hypertension, diabetes, and who knows when it turns into a heart attack. It often begins the minor symptoms like, laziness, couch potato, indiscipline, lousy, always sleep deprived or sleeping. They often would prefer to lie down instead of sitting, to stay indoors, and to wake up late in the morning, and it’s just a very small list to begin with.
Take a moment here, and think of yourself. We all have felt lazy at some point in life. What caused us to become lazy? When does our body become lethargic, and what were our stress levels then?
If the question, was just about ourselves, then it might not be a major issue, as everyone has the liberty and freedom to choose the life they want to live, but as we saw, it does affect the people around us. So here is something that I always follow, and always ask myself,
Am I causing any trouble in the life of people around me? Am I a troublemaker? Do my even minor actions cause problems for someone, and if I can do something to avoid that?
We all share the same universe, and each of our actions affects others. Yes, Darwin did say, it’s the survival of the fittest, yet the times change, and the tables turn. What we do or give today, we receive tomorrow, by the same cosmic law of cause and effect. If today, we are expecting someone to listen to their every problem in life, will we be also available to listen to them? In recent times, I have noticed, that the people I spend time with mostly meet or talk to share what are the issues they are facing, while hardly anyone ready to hear what I have to say, yet, it doesn’t bother me now mostly. But, will I be always interested to hear? Remember, we all are transceivers, not just that some are transmitters while others are receivers.
While I was drafting and then reading, I felt it might sound like something that I don’t mean. So, to be clear what I don’t mean, and what I mean,
What I don’t mean:
- To stop expressing at all
- Stop talking
- Stop sharing your problems
- Keep hurting yourself with the suffering in silos
- Get into depression, and look out for unhealthy ways to cope.
What I mean:
- Have empathy for the listeners
- Accept the fact they also have a life, which could have its troubles
- Resolve your problems one at a time -> Starting from the mind.
- Journal (as much as you can, reach out to me if you are unable to start)
- Learn to express your emotions in a logically.
- A lot of things look different to the heart and completely different to the mind, and mostly the solution is present in our mind.
- Ask yourself, how would you like others to tell you about the problem if they were in your shoes. Sometimes the other person’s perspective simplifies the problem, or at least how to share it.
- Read books, there is so much knowledge in there.
- Meditate
- Exercise, and notice your breathing patterns
- Go for a walk, daily.
Being a male, I understand it is tough for guys to open up about their problems. There are a lot of mental blocks, or stigmas, that the person upfront won’t be able to understand them or their situation. And also, we often think about what solution can he provide that we already don’t know or tried and failed miserably, last but not least, it will take time and either will heal/resolve or won’t matter anymore. My friend, we all know that it does matter, today as well as matter tomorrow too, however, we become accustomed to it. I am not saying that you always need someone to share with, however, it becomes easier, even if you don’t want to, try journaling, reading, or meditation, that helps!
Remember, the stress and all the emotions are a part of this journey of life. There is no crime to be ashamed of, if you are in stress. You know what, everyone else is also the same. We are in this together. Yet, life is not the stress itself. Just to reiterate, stress is part of life, not the life itself is stress. Treat stress like the butter in water (present but not soluble), and not the milk in water (that gets completely mixed).
Leaving you all with this beautiful message from my favorite band Imagine Dragons:
Take Care!
– Navneet
VARTAMANAH 
What’s your thought about it?