Hi reader,

It has been 35 days since 2023 and I have not written anything. However, there hasn’t been a single weekend where I have not tried to, but somehow with so many things happening along, it becomes a bit tough to cope-up with your own planning. 

Talking about the planning, some things happen out of the plans and turn out to be the most beautiful memories. A similar something happened in the last week, where out of nowhere I had a spontaneous decision to go solo to a concert in a different city, a concert of Imagine Dragons! And here I am, a week later still not able to let Imagine Dragons out of my mind! 

January 28, 2023, had something special all along from the past few months. Earlier I was planning to go to Dubai for a Hans Zimmer concert, but while waiting for my friends’ nod, the tickets were sold out. Here in India, we were about to have a 4-day long weekend, and I didn’t wanna spend it at home. Though, in all the discussions and waiting for “yes”, the clock was ticking. 

We often want to do something a lot and wish that someone, someone from our friends or family, or someone would say yes to get along, but that doesn’t happen. And how it ends, we sit in a room idle with a spoilt mood and anger. There is always a thought, an idea, or the option, in some place of our mind, to go solo. But, then we overthink of how it would be to spend the whole day alone or experience it all alone. After all those thoughts, we either just drop the plan, or take a risk and try it solo. This is where I decided, let’s do it. It wasn’t the first time, but this was different and memorable! 

Our millennial generation has this one thing in common, the lack of decision-making, not for the world but for ourselves! We always want to do something, like going concert, movie, theatre, cafe, etc., or work on some literature or art piece, or learn some instrument, or buy some dress or something; or we may want to meet someone or talk to someone, or simply just have a wish, but in the end, we just keep overthinking about that. What if this happens, or that? Or what if the person said No? What if I try it solo and get so bored? We tie ourselves with all the questions in our minds and force ourselves to either drop the plan or convince ourselves that how it is not meant for us.

Recently, I was somehow disturbed by life, and a friend asked me something that got my head turned! He asked me who am I, if I leave my family, my friends, my responsibilities, my piano, my music, and my blogs, all aside. Who am I and why and how do I do what I do? I spent almost a week thinking about it, but couldn’t find an answer that I could tell myself. Do I have the answer now? Not completely yes, but I do have something now, and no it is not any spiritual answer! I tried to look back on life, and how I became who I am now. From an obedient and disciplined student in school and college to a hardworking and smart working professional with interests in music, reading, and writing. I’m sorry if I sound like bragging about myself, but whoever knows me in person would agree. What I found in my retrospection is, all of my actions have always been identical and controlled, since childhood. Why, well have answers for that too, but thing is, all this activity made me connect the threads of who I am. 

The activity will continue, but what I found interesting is somehow all of us are still connected to our childhood. All of our actions and attitude is derived from our childhood. Like, some of us are still having the same anger or wittiness as we had in childhood. But when it comes to making a decision, we are not the same as we were in childhood. Want an example? Here’s one, when in childhood you went to any restaurant, how many minutes you would have spent deciding what to order? It was mostly pre-decided, right? How much time do you take now? 

Yes, I understand we can’t make the decisions as our childhood selves as there are risks involved, and sometimes it won’t sound mature enough. But, in our childhood, we took decisions more from the heart than the mind. In adulthood, there are moments, like whether to go to Imagine Dragons concert or save that money in some Mutual Fund. I got lectures from literally everyone (including the Uber drivers that you spent this much money for a concert?), but right now while writing this blog I have Imagine Dragons playing in the background and I just feel like I’m still there listening to them live, and the music just boosts a different energy. Would I have felt the same while keeping that money in the account? 

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” 

William Shakespeare

We live a large amount of life in doubt. We doubt because we wish all the best happens to us, but how do we know what is best for us, unless we experience some bad too? Experience is what life is about! You sit beside any senior citizen and talk about his life, and he will tell you about all of his experiences, from the highs to the lows. What is right, and what is wrong, is debatable! However, with the good and bad experiences, you can know yourself better, at least can doubt less, and live a little more! 

I know people who want to meet, but when the other have traveled a hundred miles, they think of even traveling a mile to meet. I know people who want to travel the world but waiting for a partner, to travel with, thinking it will be better. I know people who like to be loved, but think a thousand times to understand love. 

Friend, you have only got one life. You don’t know how much time you have got. Thinking and doubting will eat most of that life, the confusion and questions in your mind will always be there to control your own happiness. You should have the remote control of your life and happiness in your hand and not in others’ “Yes” or “No”.

To this beautiful gift, Life!
– Navneet