Hi reader,

I believe the word rejection would make you feel like I recently got rejected by someone or somewhere and that’s why I have been writing about it. This topic has been in my drafts for over 6 months, but it will be good to go with a clean slate in the new year! 🙂

I hope you are having a lovely time this festive holiday season and enjoying it with your family and friends. After 3 years, we are able to get this time to spend it the way we used to do, and know very well how important these moments are! So, cherish every moment and I wish you the very best at this time.

Rejections are one of the things that don’t require a definition. Maybe, for some it is horrifying, for some it can be a nightmare, for some, it could be disgusting, for some, disappointment and maybe even depression.

Rejection is one of the things we all have gone through in our life. There is no human I believe, no matter how smart, intelligent, talented, prodigy, beautiful, or hardworking they are, who has never been rejected. So, it is a common feeling we all share and can relate to, it hurts a lot! But do we ever talk about it? Do the parents talk to their kids about how to handle rejections? Do friends support you when there are rejections? Do we ourselves think about how it feels like when we reject someone? 

Most of us would feel, that there are only two kinds of rejections. One is in career, and the other, is in relationships. However, it’s not true. Majorly, yes they are two main kinds, but there are a few more, which I call Self rejections. These are the ones where we reject ourselves for the happiness we could have in our life. We reject ourselves for the opportunities standing right before us. We reject our own better life to struggle for a normal life. On top of all, do that unknowingly. 

You must be thinking that I will say how to deal with it, take it as a lesson and improve yourself for a better version of yourself and all these suggestions, right? I also thought of the same while drafting it, but do we actually feel like it while going through it? 

The feeling of getting rejected, for the first time or the nth time you have been rejected, feels worse and hurts. At that moment, if anything that doesn’t help and you don’t want to hear is to accept it and up-skill yourself. The mind doesn’t let you forget it, and no matter what you do, you will think about it over and over. But what else you can do at the moment?

My suggestion here would be, first of all, to accept yourself. Just if someone said no to your job application, or said no to your proposal, or not invited you to their party, or said no to spending time with you, it doesn’t mean that you are unworthy. You know who you are, and no one in this world is unworthy or not capable of doing unimaginable things. Neither you nor anyone else. So, do not let yourself down with a rejection, and believe in yourself, and in your abilities. Why should you do it? 

This is what my next suggestion is, to know who rejected you. Who is more important here than a why. Find out if:

• Is the one who rejected you a level up or a level down from you?
• they are capable of understanding your skills and talent?
• they know you enough to know your worth?
• they let you express your thoughts?
• they let you present your skills?
• it was one of the odd days?

Knowing all this is important, because then only you will be able to decide whether you want to accept or ignore the rejection. And once, you have found out whether you want to accept or ignore the rejection, then only you can decide what will be your next step. But what is the next step?

Why were you rejected? Yes, that’s what the next thing you need to know before working on anything else, as now you know who rejected you. If the one who rejected you was a level or few levels up and have more experience than you, why did he reject you? If someone knows you well enough, why did they not choose you? If you expressed yourself well enough and showcased your skills the best way you can, then why were you rejected? This is important to know and then only you can think of how can you work on it and whether you need to act on it at all.

For career, one of the reasons could be that your skills do not match with the required skills. There is always a good chance to brush up and enhance your skills, no matter at what level you are, so it is not bad in accepting it and working on it. But it’s only true if you are under-skilled. In case you are over-skilled, then maybe you can ignore this one-off day and maybe search for better opportunities. And if the skills do match, but still you weren’t selected, maybe you can move on and take it as an off day, and present your skills better the next time. 

For life, if the person who knows you well, and understands your emotions, rejected you for someone else, then it’s not your fault. At least you have been brave enough to accept it and confront it. Now if someone like BBQ, and you give them salad, obviously it’s not the salad’s mistake. You can’t control people’s tastes, but what you can control are your emotions, self-dignity, and your future. So just let people do, what they want to do, and accept yourself for the way you are!

Remember, life is too big to regret but too small to love and be grateful.

Cheers,
Navneet