Hi reader,

Time flies so fast, we are in September’2022, which means the festive (and vacation) season is not so far. I Hope, it brings all the joy and laughter we all wish for. I was out with my friend, and I was a little surprised when he asked if I had stopped blogging.. and then I checked when did I last post, it’s been 2 months. It may seem like I was on a break or may have stopped blogging for a while, however, none of them is true. Contrary, there hasn’t been a single day when I didn’t feel like writing or posting something but wasn’t able to. But 2 months, I am not even sure, time flew so fast.

To be honest, the past 2 months have been tough due to some situations at work, but fortunately, it’s better now. Tough times bring the best out of us, challenge us, test our beliefs and patience, but most importantly push us into self-doubts, anxiety, and stress as well. We start to think and overthink about the future consequences if this or that doesn’t happen. We may try pushing things on ourselves and put ourselves in even more uncomfortable positions.

When we are in a state of mind where there is a cyclone of thoughts in mind, everything looks fuzzy, few things work but most don’t. We try to do whatever is in our control, but still, things don’t work out. In such cases, our belief system is completely disturbed. We start to forget the good part of life (for instance, family support), and we have our minds focused just on the problems. We then begin to curse our luck, our destiny. Stare at LinkedIn (a Millennial show-off social network) posts where everyone is succeeding or any other social media where every other friend is enjoying life. Watching all this, we just think about one thing, how are they successful and we are not?

What I noticed, there can be two ways how you handle these situations,

• You curse God for everything bad in your life, you curse your destiny. You are feeling disappointed and start to panic. Anger is always present on your face and people around you will fear talking to you. You will affect your health (physically, mentally, psychologically, as well as socially). And one day, things will work out, and you will feel great.
• You believe in yourself and trust your skills and knowledge. You stay positive and do not allow any negativity around you. You always keep hope alive even if things don’t turn out as expected. You keep on working on yourself and improving your skills. Do exercise to keep yourself mentally and physically sound. And never skip spending time with the people you love or stop doing the things that bring peace to you. One day, you will excel and things will happen the way you want.

In both cases, you will come out of it, as after every tough phase in life, there is a smooth patch, “This too shall pass!” But, in which way will you feel more relaxed and happy with the outcome, and in which way you won’t hurt the people around you? I believe that’s clearly present upfront.

A few things I learned and will always want to remember is that it is very very NORMAL to overthink and be tense when there is a rough patch. You must acknowledge to yourself that yes, you are or can be in trouble, and it will bring some anxiety. We may feel anger or may have a rough tone. Realize when it happens, and always apologize in case that hurts someone. Don’t think that we can never be angry or anxious or we have complete control. We do not belong to sages or monks.

We all are humans, and it is normal to be anxious. Not letting get the anxiety and overthinking over you, is in our control. Try to be more in present than in the past or future. Past is already gone, and the future will always bring doubt and anxiety, even when not in any tough phase. So try to be attentive and present as much as possible. Don’t try to overdo, or try push so hard.

Some people (including myself) think that the more they stay busy, the more they stay in present, and the lesser they care about the future. It may work for a few and may not for others. In trying to keep yourself busy, some people may feel burnout. They will try to fake the energy and the smile, which may not be necessary. Overdoing things and trying to over-perform, may bring extra pressure. Sometimes, having a break as simple as sipping a cup of tea, or having a nice sleep, can relax much more than a trip to the mountain or a heavy workout at the gym.

There is a famous quote by MS Dhoni (cricketer), on how he stays so calm in critical situations of a match, “I am like everyone else but I control my emotions better than some of the other individuals. I would say, I feel equally frustrated. I also feel angry at times, and disappointed. But what is important is that none of these feelings are constructive.” Care about what is in your control. If you keep caring for what’s not in your control, you will always feel tired.

There are always a few surprises in life, whether it’s a good time or a tough time. There is no bad in asking for help, and I believe rather than struggling and suffering alone, it is better to ask for help. However, expecting that everyone will be there to help you may not be necessary. You may find the people you hoped would help will be busy with life and problems, while some people out of nowhere will pop up to help you in whatever way they can. Most will say that this will also pass, and you will get what you want. Maybe that’s how they can offer help in wishing you success, but no matter who says what, always believe in yourself, everything else is temporary.

Don’t be harsh on yourself. Be as kind to yourself as to others.

It’s important to be kind to everyone, but not necessary to be nice to everyone!

Take care, see you soon!

Cheers,
Navneet