Hey reader,

Are you depressed? Are you anxious? Are you sleep-deprived? Do you feel like you aren’t having a healthy mind? While asking these questions, I am already getting a big NO shouts like of your replies, calm-down I got it. But surprisingly, that’s the same response a person who is suffering from it will answer. But why?

Yes, I am going to talk about it, Depression. I know it is the hottest topic, the hot cake for most of the life coaches, psychologists, and every other life blogger. But, no matter, how many of us write or talk about it, we still need more and more of it.

As a listener of tips and suggestions, we always like it. But if I ask you to come out of your closed book paranoia and talk about your depression, why are you unhappy? What is it that’s bothering you right now?
You Won’t!

Being sad and being depressed are two different things. Also, people going through depression don’t look so, while someone sad will look sad. The most common reaction is, ‘How can you be depressed? You have everything going for you. You are the supposed number one heroine and have a plush home, car, movies… What else do you want?’

Deepika Padukone

There are some very common things that everyone likes to talk about while talking about Depression, be it the biochemical effects inside our body, the alpha, beta, gamma waves in our brain and everything. But, I don’t want to talk about it. You can easily find them on Google. Honestly, if we really cared about the effects and everything, we would have already taken care of it by those means.

But now what? What I want to talk about is what you feel, in depression. Be it related to career, relationship with people, disappointments and burden of expectations, etc.

First and foremost, I want you to understand this, that this whole blog is useless, if you and I, don’t have any connection. Without connection, there is no point reading further, and I would request you shouldn’t proceed ahead. Take it as, we are sitting right now together, face to face, and we are home. I just want you to feel safe, and connected!

My friend, I know how it feels like, when we work so hard for something to make it successful, be it the preparation for an exam at school or college, or entrance examination, or recruitment process of your dream company, but we fail to make it even after giving our 100%. I know that feeling of failure when we miss by a mere margin and end up on losing end instead of the winning end.

Watching people getting successful, and climbing up in the so called success ladder and you just watching them. I know how it feels, when we feel so pissed off with all these feelings and people come to us saying don’t worry, good will happen to you as well, you will also succeed, etc, etc. I completely know this, and so I say to you, don’t give a damn to it.

If you feel that you have failed, accept it. Take the ownership of the failure. I came through one of the video where the speaker said, watch your hands, make a fist and put both hands say 30cm apart. On the left hand, it is you. On the right hand, it is your success. There is nothing in between, no path. You have to build that path, so that your left hand, i.e. you, can reach to right hand, i.e. Success. You have to build that path by overcoming the each failures. Failures are the route, one after another, you reach closer and closer. It feels bad, but it makes us stronger, so never let it down you. Chin up my friend, smile. If you failed once, life is still with you. Make the most of it.

My friend, I know how it feels like to be ideal person in the family or society and getting burdened up with the expectations. Every other parent would be looking at you as a role model. No one will ask you what you want to be or do. You will stay quiet and just keep performing to give your best. Giving your best, will become your habit. And one day, you may fail. That could be the highest point in your life. No one will come to support you out of those people who made you role model. You will start getting mad, start feeling the loneliness, watching people succeed, you will like to stay more and more alone. you will talk less, and who knows, will be always lost in thoughts and overthinking.

My friend, it happens. But you know what? It’s not only you who is suffering. Your parents and your family, they are also the ones, who are going through the same. They have their own problems in life, but now have your problems too. They will be tired of listening people comments but will be so much concerned about your health. And at this time, you need to be with your family. You need to show the world, that this champion will not fall so easily, and have to fight back for your family. Fight with your own world, your own thoughts. Your life will be challenging, you will be the challenge to it, your family will be the challenge and so will be the world, but you are champion, and you will overcome everything. Just always keep a thought, that your parents want only one thing from you, to see you happy. So smile, everything is figureoutable and everything will be fine.

Building up expectations, creating unrealistic time frames, feeling like our end goal is the end all, be all can all lead to frustration or anxiety. We end up feeling as though we have to power through what we want rather than enjoy the process and just let the result come as it may.

Gretchen Bleiler

My friend, I know how it feels like when you are living alone in a remote city, unable to build up the trust and connection with the people around, when you are feeling down, and out of the big list of friends, you choose 3-4 people, hoping that they will understand you. You turn up to them, saying hi, and you wait for minutes or hours, just waiting for their reply. Sometimes you get the reply and sometimes not. I know it hurts when you are just asking for a few minutes from someone and all they have to say is they need some space. I know how much it hurts, from those selective people. You always try to be available to them, help them, keep checking with them if everything is fine. But when you need them, it’s different. It really hurts. It makes us feel more lonely.

Loneliness is a state which is now turning into a widespread mental disease around the globe. Though, like depression, which is the aftermath of loneliness, no one accepts it. Everyone is looking for someone, but just waiting for others to initiate.

Though, you can’t force someone to be with you. You have to sail your boat in your life’s journey on your own. People will come in our life, we become good, better or best friends or even fall in love, but if any of two wants to come out of it, the other can’t force them to continue in the journey. And if you actually care about them, love them truly and selflessly, you set them free. If they actually love and care about you, they will come back, but if they don’t, it hurts but you have to accept it. While writing my last few blogs about Intuition and Disconnect, I have felt the same, that I can’t force a few people to stay, and so I set them free, with a smile. Just ask to yourself, how long you want to drag your that emotion? How long you want to get hurt? How many hours and days of your precious life, you want to waste on thinking about it? Or rather like I did, you want to smile, close that chapter and move forward? Choice is yours my friend.. People will come and go, but you will always have yourself, the Champion of your life, your own self. Care and love that one, and smile.

I can understand that it’s getting lengthy, but we are talking about depression my friend, when we can waste a hell lot of time just thinking about it and suffering from it, we can continue here a little more.

My friend, I know how it feels like when something is killing you from the inside, but you are unable to put it at front, thinking how will someone react, or what the people will think if you say it, will they accept you, or will they leave you. You are fighting deep inside again very sensitive issues, which you may be suffering from childhood, be it like bullying, a shameful incident, some horrific incident that you can never talk about with anyone, some family problems, or anything, but it keeps eating you up from the inside, like a termite in the woods.

What happens is, we never share it. We might talk well and smile and gel easily with people but when alone, these issues comeback to haunt us. My friend, I can understand, but you have to come out of it. You can’t carry the burden of your darkest secrets on your precious and beautiful life’s journey. I understand, there is always a self doubt, what will people say, how will they react. But what I have experienced, not the whole society is bad, or judgemental. Just take a step fearlessly against your horror, stand against it strong, and without any fear of what will people say, talk about it, to someone. If not a person, then as a letter to anonymous.

The distance between you-with-inside-horror and the-happy-you is just one step. One step of strength to come out of all the fears. I can understand, that you might feel talking about all this or writing this up is easy, but fighting with your own self inside and to actually take that step is tough. But, you also need to agree with me on one thing, that we all have this romanticism with our anxiety and fears. We know we are anxious, and we know that if we talk or share about it, we will feel better but still we don’t. Just like we are loving that feeling of anxiety and depression.

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”

Laurell K. Hamilton

My friend, the moment you realise, that you have got only one life, to enjoy, be happy, live within the moments, to love yourself, you will never think about anything other than, Smile… Everything is fine, and everything will be fine, ALWAYS!

-Navneet